So American

 “We’ll put a boot in yer ass, it’s the American way!”

Toby Keith’s “Angry American” boomed in the dusty arena as two cowgirls loped in circles, one waving the Wyoming state flag and the other the stars and stripes. The crowd applauded at the idea of a patriotic ass-kicking.

With their boots, buckles, spurs, and no-nonsense attitudes, one might not wish to cross a resident of Dubois, WY. While welcoming and down-to-earth, they could put an Ariat up anyone’s rear. They’ve seen the wild west looking down the barrels of shotguns, developed calloused hands from their lives of ranching, and have learned to thrive in the bitter Northwestern winters. Even their five-year-olds can ride like the wind. You can see it for yourself at the weekly Dubois Rodeo.

Before the barrel racing began, the rodeo warmed up with a poor, asthma-ridden grandmother who tried her darndest to wheeze out the National Anthem, and then the waving of the flags. There was always a patriotic song playing for the ceremony. Last week was “Proud to be an American.” This week was “Angry American” by Toby Keith. As the crowd cheered for the iconic, butt-kicking lyrics, I wondered what my British friend sitting next to me was thinking.

I went back to being a little girl and longing to be a singer. I’d put on my glittery red cowgirl hat and matching boots (no pants necessary) and sing along to CDs in my little room at the end of the single-wide. I went with whatever my parents had lying around; U2’s Joshua Tree, a compilation of Appalachian folk songs, and the soundtrack to Shrek were a few of my favorites.

 But 6-year-old me really took a shining to some 90’s Toby Keith. I loved the song he sang with Willie Nelson about never wanting to smoke weed with Willie again, and the one called “Beer for My Horses” which is basically a mantra for the implementation of capital punishment, where he wants to “put a few more in the ground.” There was also “Who’s Your Daddy?”, where Keith had the money and she had the honey.

But I liked how Willie and Keith sang together. I loved the twangy rhythm guitar. I thought that giving beer to horses sounded sweet, and I thought it was nice that somebody had found a Dad.

The cream of the crop was “Angry American.” Having listened to that song as a little girl who was only 2 during 9/11, I thought it was just about being patriotic…sure, loudly, blaringly patriotic, but proud nonetheless. It took me a bit to realize the song’s enraged and rather graceless stance against that fateful day and against any threat to the USA. If you are looking for a song that illustrates the Statue of Liberty offering up a knuckle sandwich and hell raining down on America’s enemies, where the American people are depicted as a growling bulldog in a cage, look no further.

Think what you will of the song. As a 6-year-old girl, I dug it.

So when my family was on vacation, we wound up camping in an RV park with a pool. A bunch of retirees were having a Memorial Day karaoke party at the pool, and I decided I wanted to sing. I wrapped a towel around my pink bikini, told my parents to watch me, and headed towards the mic that was set up next to the hot tub.

I wish I could look back and remember the karaoke man’s face the moment my little-self walked up to him and asked him if he’d please put on “Angry American” by Toby Keith for me to sing to, much less my parents’ faces when they’d realized my song choice. However, to this day I remember the old people in the hot tub howling when I sang, “We’ll put a boot in your ass” in my high-pitched southern accent, as loud as I could.

That is where my mind went as I sat in those bleachers at the Dubois Rodeo Grounds.

I turned to my British friend after the song ended and the cheers died down. “So, what’s your opinion of what just happened?”

She laughed. “It was so American.”