Billboard Messiahs

     The first marvel of Kansas that we encountered was Jesus Himself...sort of. Jesus was always with us, whether we were under a bridge or in a sketchy hotel room. Well, Jesus is also in Colby, Kansas. 

    He’s on a giant billboard, hanging out in a wheat field. From the looks of it, He just popped his head right up out of the wheat. It would be creepy, but He’s the Messiah and all. He proudly shows off his bouquet of wheat, like, “Hey guys, look at this wheat, we’re gonna make it into bread to break it in remembrance of me.”

I would love to know more about this Kansas Jesus’s story, but all that I’ve gathered is that there is a married couple in Colby who pay to keep Him up there. They even keep Him lit at night so the late-night long-haulers can experience this spectacle.

We see a lot of billboards with lots of Jesus on them; whiter than your Caucasian baby’s behind, sitting in a beam of light, eyes bluer than chlorine that seem as though they’d look through you rather than at you. Forget the long walks on dusty roads across Israel or the sweat and grime that comes with carpentry. These Jesuses have been scrubbed clean and bleached spotless. They look as though they’d shrivel in the Middle Eastern sun, much less save me from sin.

I would assume that the people who pay to keep these billboards up think they are helping lead the lost to Christ. However, I have never heard anyone say that one of these signs changed their lives like the Jesus of the Bible promises He can.

“Man, so I was headed towards this exit to meet a hooker, buy some cocaine, maybe do some shoplifting if the opportunity stood, usual afternoon stuff…

And then I saw a sign of this pale guy standing in a rainbow, and I was like, ‘nope!’ So I’ve gotta ask the hooker for a refund now. I’ll probably use the cocaine money to buy khakis and a polo shirt, I don’t know if they’ll let me in church with my marijuana-leaf shirt on.”

Maybe you’re reading this and you’re that one person who saw whitey-Jesus on the highway and it changed your life. I would love to hear from you if you’re out there.

Nonetheless, if I had to pick a favorite billboard Jesus, I’d choose the one in Colby. He’s unexpected. He’s a little browner. He looks into your soul as your driving past. He reminds you that Jesus can be anywhere. Sometimes it’s weird.